“You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.” -Psalm 18: 28
Today is my birthday. I turn 31!
As a birthday gift to myself and my family I decided to face my attacker and consciously work to walk into the light.
Five years ago I was cut with a butcher knife, stripped of my clothing, strangled, and robbed as a stranger whom I did not know, attempted to rape me.
The police caught him. I and another lady testified a year later and he received 46 years in prison.
Five years ago I also lived in one of the most beautiful places in the world. I lived in the island nation of St. Kitts and Nevis.
The beautiful Caribbean Sea, palm trees, the sounds of Kittitian dialect, rays of golden yellow sunshine, laughs, and hikes full of delightful high-pitched chirps from 2 feet tall monkey’s. These make me smile.
Over the years, as I have worked to heal past my assault and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I have wondered what happened to the man that for whatever reason hurt me and also raped other women.
I have also wondered about all of the beautiful people I met that became family to me in St. Kitts.
Two months ago I decided instead of wondering, why not go back and visit?
No one is going to hurt me and God will never put more on me than I can bear.
Psychologically sometimes the mind tries to create fear that is very deceiving. Trauma can manifest itself in bad dreams, hallucinations, not being able to breathe properly, fear, fear, anxiety, anxiety, depression, and more.
But, the devil really is a liar. We do not have to live a life fearing our past and holding on to what someone has done to us. With God all things are possible.
I go back to St. Kitts next week. Not just to face my trauma and the man who assaulted me, but to move forward walking into the light.
Though my assault and trauma left a grayish, black covering over my St. Kitts experience, there is still so much light that I consciously have to allow to shine through.
I’ll be visiting St. Kitts because I know the sun that shines so brightly literally and also through people on the island is what I need to keep with me moving forward healthily.
It is also what I need to have to share with my future children.
I will not hold onto this darkness. I will not even hold on to my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
For my 31st birthday I am consciously walking into the light.
God Bless You!
“For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.” – Psalm 36: 9 (NIV)
Hope Writer: Argrow “Kit” Evans
NOTE: This is a repost of Kit’s article published in her blog Testimonies of Hope and was used with her permission.
Argrow Kitnequa “Kit” Evans has multiple degrees, traveled the world, and worked with several organizations.
She learned that these achievements are nothing if she wasn’t blessing other people. She founded “Testimonies of Hope: The Intercultural Christian Devotional Website” to highlight how people attained hope in Jesus Christ despite the bad experiences they went through.
Kit says: “Over the last 17 years I have watched, studied, and served; learning that violence can be prevented and healing from trauma is a journey, but possible.“